To say this last year has been a rollercoaster would be an understatement. I think of it more like a bungee jump. How the thought of the jump is scarier than the actual activity. How the first part is the worst part and how it levels off at the end.
I can’t even put into words how I feel about 2016. I’ve been staring at a blinking cursor for the last hour or so and even now I’m struggling to construct a reasonable sentence. But what I can say – without hesitation – is that I am proud of what I have achieved. And to me, that’s the most important thing.
Before the summer I received my last bulk of University grades. All of them, were firsts. And if you take into consideration the months leading up to those assignments, where I was suffering from an eating disorder, makes it all the more shocking; to me at least.
Every year I try and set New Year’s resolutions and tell myself to do things out of my comfort zone. But I don’t live my life by structure. I didn’t even apply to University and look where I am. I live my life spontaneously. By rolling a dice. A guessing game. I don’t like planning things. Planning means there’s an element of something going wrong. Like when you arrange to meet up with friends and they bail last minute. I can’t be bothered with that.
So this year I won’t set any resolutions other than to be the best version of myself.
I had a wake-up call in November and lost my Grandpops. Always appreciate your loved ones and never take them for granted. Things happen without a warning all the time. I never got to say goodbye. My mum never got to say goodbye. No one did. But the sky gained another star and I can only hope he’s watching over me whilst I do him proud.
I’m due to start work experience at an F1 team in January. I’ll also graduate. My future is charging right at me and I still don’t know where it’ll take me. But that’s the best part. Although I have a huge fear of the unknown, I’m almost excited by not knowing what will happen. The future is terrifying but I’m lucky to have the friends (new and old) and family I do, to share the adventures with. 2017 can only be better, I think, I hope.
If you’re reading this and like me you had an up and down year: believe in yourself. You’ll be surprised where self-belief will take you. If you don’t like something, change it. If you want to do something, do it. Be spontaneous. Be yourself. Your life is an open book – don’t let someone else write it.
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do by the ones that you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain.
Make those mistakes. Be risky. Stop questioning the outcome because not every mistake will turn out to be a bad one.